MANNERS - THE NEED FOR EVERY AGE GROUP!

Manners: The Need for Every Age-Group

Excess doting of parents on their kids becomes quite a necessity especially when the parents are away from home for the major part of the day. This many a times habituate the kids to have things their way. Years later we find ourselves whole - heartedly and unanimously blaming the young as being selfish and self centered.

Can a stout bank-balance and high education make up for the lack of manners? Certainly not.


Engulfed by the dreams of a brilliant lifestyle for themselves and their offspring, the industrious parents race towards their work destinations. Blame it on the financial exigency - but the order of the times begs the attention of both the parents towards penny breeding. Entrusting the tiny toddlers at home in either the caretaker’s arms or on a grandparent’s lap, the duo sets off to work.

Soon Lady Luck smiles wide at these ambitious couples. Money jingles in their pockets, plush apartments house them, dazzling cars grace the façade of their homes. You name it, and they have it all - from a radio to an ipod. Amidst this,” My child should master the Queen’s language”, remains their utmost desire. But along with the royal language, what these virtuous beings fail to inculcate in their offshoots is the Queen’s etiquettes. Manners – the true ornament remains to be introduced in their children in their strive for gold and silver. They remain oblivious to the maxim - English language and manners go hand in hand.

Often we come across kids studying in distinguished institutions but are hardly affable. Few children bother to wish the visitors who enter their lavish dwellings.” They are just kids”, say the grown- ups disposing off the matter. But isn’t this the very age in which the seeds of manners need to be sown?

Excess doting of parents on their kids becomes quite a necessity especially when the parents are away from home for the major part of the day. This many a times habituate the kids to have things their way. Years later we find ourselves whole - heartedly and unanimously blaming the young as being selfish and self centered.

Smile – as they say – doesn’t cost much but often we witness the senior lot hardly spreading an iota of smile while greeting a guest. Then later when the chips of the old blocks follow suit, we blame their era! Umpteen times we come across blaring TV sets blemishing the serenity of the surroundings even in a visitor’s presence. They fail to realize the disrespect that they exhibit when they continue watching the never - ending soaps and serials instead of being all ears to their guests who may have arrived after a long journey. It is also the duty of a host to wait patiently till the guest reaches out of sight before the door is shut.

We come across grown-ups dashing out to work without even a good -bye note dropped at the older folks. Then later these same noble people spite their kids for not intimating them about some planned tour or a holiday. Quite often sweets get accepted by the hosts with, ”oh, we are on diet these days”, or “we prefer the other flavor more”, or even worse, ”our fridge is already full of these”, thus causing embarrassment to the guest who feels guilty of not being an expert in selection of the right delicacies.

Children are proudly enrolled in convent schools. But ‘good morning’ and ‘good evening’ greetings are neither practiced by the parents nor taught to their little wonders. Children learn to accept gifts but learning to acknowledging them with a ‘thank you’ isn’t taught to many. Elders should realize that manners help in creating and maintaining a bond between people. Complementing others on their success displays your appreciative nature and the pleasure that you take in others’ joys. Apologizing for any mistake done needs no age bar. Elders at home shouldn’t have any inhibitions in saying a sorry to their juniors. In fact, through this gesture they introduce manners to the young. Often people hesitate to pay condolence to a family in grief, as they are unaware of proper words and language to be used in such a situation. This can sadly be mistaken as being mannerless. In such a case, sending a condolence note can do the needful.

Placing courtesy calls to senior relatives and distantly located friends, at least once a fortnight, and following the telephonic manners remain alien to many people despite of having the Bells’s invention at home even before they were born. By their intelligence and industrious nature these people do achieve a high position in society but manners still remain foreign to them. The want of manners often leads to their unpopularity in their place of work. Merely aping the modern lifestyle cannot hide the significant defect of the deficiency of manners.

During the childhood, a little one is often sent to play in the neighbourhood homes. But strange enough that the child isn’t taught to cultivate a lasting bond with these neighbours who earlier must have loaded him with love and affection. “He doesn’t have time at all”, they lament about the class V student that would humble even a Ph. D. pursuer. Later when the parents meet with a twin treatment, they point at the existing times and its fading culture.

But were these children introduced to genteel behaviour in the past? Can any of the above actions exhibited by the elders fit into the frame of manners? Has generating the metal coins and teaching our generation next to only do the same, become the anthem of many a homes?

Is it right to blame the children entirely, when they often reflect what they see? Can a mirror be blamed if a face placed before it is disfigured?

Time fleets. With blinkers adorned - to compete in the rat race of materialistic achievements, in the competition to carve the best furniture for home, and in a struggle to place the most exquisite sculpture on the mantle piece, the real clay of the home - ‘the child’ remains unmoulded.