GOOD PERSONALITY – NEED OF THE HOUR

A tall body frame, a fair complexion, an hourglass figure and sprucely chiseled features – do these imply of possessing a good personality? Not entirely. A good personality cannot comprise of just the external appearance. Beauty is a single petal of the personality rose. It’s just an icing over the cake. We often hear people opining that a good personality is a boon straight from the heavens. But here they seem to compliment only the physical characteristics gifted to a person by the almighty. Actually the term ‘personality’ has a much profound significance. It is your real being assembled with various positive and negative traits.

In the external area of personality, neatness is an utmost important feature. Unkempt hair, broken nails, chipped off nail polish, crumpled clothes and absence of hygiene can do away with your beauty in a jiffy. On the contrary, a person having mediocre looks can appear much presentable if she/he is meticulous of such neatness. Be it within the four walls of your cocoon or in the outer world, tidiness helps you earn a special place in every heart.

Then adding up to it is your style. The gait with which you carry yourself despite of either an overbuilt or a lean body frame helps to enhance your personality. Tall bodies walking with short graceful steps will help them appear elegant and the shorter folks using long strides may display confidence despite of their short stature.

Sitting tall and straight without slouching is the next mandatory feature in the list of a good personality. Women sitting with their legs crossed at the ankles and men sitting with their legs crossed at their knees not only look elegant but also display a good body language – and a good body language forms an integral part of a good personality.

Adopting only those fashions, which suit one’s distinctive characteristics, is highly recommended. Blindly following the existing trend in a craving to be termed as ‘modern’ can become a cause for your ridicule. This is applicable in the selection of footwear too. Avoid sporting a heel, which on dance floor can’t reel. Therefore comfort is a key to a good personality. Many people doll up only during occasions. But a bit of regular grooming not only makes one look good but also feel good.

Next is a presentable speech. Not all are blessed with a melodious voice. But one can cultivate the habit of speaking in a soft gentle tone to camouflage the gruffness, if any, in the voice. A good voice modulation, clarity in speech and speaking with a proper pace can be achieved with some practice. To listen to good speakers is really music to the ears. Such people also have an added advantage in telephonic conversations. The chances of them sounding rude are always dim. During conversations it’s always good to respond with pleasant facial expressions and gentle nods. Unnecessary gestures and head movements could make one appear loud and therefore repulsive. Wearing a pleasant smile on your lips and maintaining a proper eye contact during a dialogue can speak volumes about your confidence.

Reading of good books is the next step towards having a good personality. Voracious readers always steal the cake during any conversation as they largely contribute to every topic in discussions. But one mustn’t forget that being a good listener is an appreciable quality too. Avoid interrupting others when they are communicating and if the error does occur, an apology should be close at hand. Be interested in what others speak. Cultivate the habit of complimenting and appreciating others whole-heartedly at every opportunity. Be witty, clever, jovial and humorous but avoid jests at the expense of others.

Being sensitive towards people’s problems can be placed on a very high pedestal in the pyramid of personality. It’s a noble gesture to lend an ear to the lesser fortunate souls. After all aren’t we all here to spread the message of humanity? This not only blossoms one’s own personality but also creates a positive aura around. A famous quote rightly implies, “Handsome is As Handsome Does”.

Confidence is another significant fringe in one’s personality. Be confident in all your undertakings. A confident person exudes pleasant vibes and is selfless as he hasn’t any insecurities in mind. Such a person is free of sarcasm, envy and revenge. Optimism should remain your greatest motto and it’s wise to avoid being rueful over any painful past. Accepting responsibilities and being trustworthy, polishes your personality further.

If possible, one must try to be economically independent as it makes you feel important and self- reliant. It is diabolical to indulge in gossips, backbiting and dishonesty as they can mar the best of personality. Being happy, cheerful, amicable and helpful are a few more positive traits of a good personality. Discipline and punctuality are two valuable gems in the crown of personality.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to state that people in every profession today need to have a good personality. Not just an actor or a model but a receptionist behind a counter, a boss in his cabin, a doctor in his clinic a lecturer in the classroom or a salesperson in a mall are all required to have good personalities. Undoubtedly each one carves a name for himself in his profession through his intellect and hard work. But if they sprinkle the good personality spices over their beings too, they will endear themselves further. If one feigns of having a good personality through artificial mannerisms, the act will be ephemeral. So it’s best to imbibe all the above-mentioned traits naturally and bit by bit till they blend with one’s original personality. All these qualities are the beautiful flowers, which can bloom within each one of us. So let’s weave into a bouquet of a good personality and present it to the world.

Shilpa Kher
shilpakher@gmail.com

AAL....IZ...WELL!!!

Optimism की हवा चली है
जैसे बिमारी गयी हो फैल
जिसे भी मिलो कह उठता है
AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!

बीच सडक पर कडी धूप में थक चुका था बंदा
गन्ने का रस निचोड निचोडकर चला रहा था धंदा
मैनें पूछा “कैसे हो भैय्या? दिखते हो कोलू का बैल!”
पसीना पोछ कर हाँफ पडा वो
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

इम्तिहानोंसे बेहाल होकर गिर पडी एक छात्रा
झटपट students ले गये उसकी हस्पताल तक यात्रा
एक हाथ में saline लगा था, दूजे में था cell,
पर मुझे देखते चहक उठी वो
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

पडोस का couple लढ पडा था, घर में खामोश दोनों
‘Mercedes पे किसका हक था किसके लिए थी Nano!’
दोनों का था ego मोटा, पर जब बजती doorbell,
हँसकर दोनों कुछ यूँ जताते
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

दादीमाँ का बढा था BP, पोते का result था आना
साल भर की खाक पढाई, ज्यादा गाना बजाना
Tension में अब पोते को वो कर रही थी ‘yell’
निर्लज पोता style में बोला
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

महंगाई से बेबस होकर चीख रही थी जनता
दुकानदार के डरी शकल पर नाच रही थी चिंता
बेचारे से अब ना कोई shampoo खरीदें ना gel,
पर shutter पे पोस्टर लगा रखा था
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

देश में हिंसा, नौकरी की चिंता, चारों ओर है दहशत
ऐसे में फिर मंत्री खाएँ हर मौके पर रिशवत
इनपे भी जब होगा हमला, जाएँ वो heaven या hell
देश लगाएगा खुशी से नारा
“AAL..... IZ...... WELL !!”

फिर तनहाई

की अपने साये से दोस्ती,
इतराए अब खुशनसीब है हम,
न देगा ये दर्द, दगा, रुसवाई,
न देगा ये सिसकियों का गम ।

उम्मीदों के कत्ल थे सहे,
संगदिलों के चुभते वार,
बिछडने की झेली बेदर्दी,
महस साया एक जीवनआधार ।

रहेगा साथ हर घडी, हर पल
न पूछेगा हमारी औकात,
न तोलेगा पैसों के तराजू में,
न चाहेगा हमसे सौगात ।

फिर आया मौसम ऐसा इक दिन
बादल ले गये इस वहम को लूट,
इंसानों की बात ही छोडो,
गया अब हमसे साया रूठ ।

भीडभरी खाली दुनिया में,
बस साथ बची थी परछाई,
किस्मत को ये रास न आया
झोली में फिर तनहाई...... झोली में फिर तनहाई......।

ART OF GIFTING

‘GIFTS’ bring a smile to the lips and joy to the heart. One feels overjoyed on receiving a gift at every age. Gifts are not just lifeless objects but a lot of love and sentiments of the giver is woven into them. Gifts help to strengthen bonds between friends and relatives or newly acquired acquaintances. Gifts are given as a token of respect. Gifts can bridge the gap between two people and heal wounded hearts too. They create a feeling of belongingness. Gifting the right kind of gifts to the right age group is certainly an art. Selection of gifts should be based upon the age group of the person to whom you plan to gift.

Gifts can be classified into three types:
Cherishable, Perishable and Usable.

CHERISHABLE GIFTS:
Greeting cards and small mementos top the list. Our work gets done on visiting the Archie’s galleries and the Hallmarks as they house incredible number of sprucely arranged cards containing flattering verses apt for every occasion. But if you have a strong desire to make people feel special, nothing could beat a greeting card designed all by yourself. Golden papers, satin ribbons, silver and golden laces can take care of the aesthetic area of the card creation. If you claim to be good with paint and brush, even a small bouquet painted on the inside of the card can speak volumes about your affection for the person. As for the contents, one need not necessarily be a poet. Your true feelings jotted neatly in bright ink may have a greater impact than the rhyming verses of a borrowed poem.
Mementos can be gifted to a person to remind him in future of some success that he may have achieved or simply as a remembrance of the bond that you may be sharing with him or her. Mementos often create nostalgia.
Presenting gift vouchers too is a nice way of enabling a person to buy something of his own choice.

PERISHABLE GIFTS:
Bouquet though perishable, can be a very charming gift. Flowers have always dominated the arena of gifts as they bestow happiness with their beauty and fragrance. While gifting a bouquet one can cluster different varieties of flowers and of different colors or a single variety of the same color.
If you think yourself to be on par with a florist, than weaving a bouquet yourself could lend immense satisfaction to you and also delight the receiver. The size of the bouquet should also depend upon the kind of occasion. A bouquet presented for a birthday could be smaller than the one presented on someone’s fiftieth wedding anniversary. However, it is best to avoid gifting bouquets to people who you know are asthmatic or allergy prone.
Sweetmeats and other delicacies too can be included in the perishable gifts. Sweetmeats are often gifted to children and many a time to older people. Special care should be taken especially when you plan to gift sweets made from milk products. You should confirm that they have been freshly prepared and should be bought only from branded shops. If a few members in a family have been restricted to consume sweets, you should be thoughtful and generous to gift them something that they too can relish. A chocolate box is an all time favorite gift of many people. You could add more delight to this irresistible gift by preparing chocolates at home. You could shape them in a variety of moulds and thus add a bit of your creativity to them. Moreover you would find this a far more reasonable affair than buying the expensive packs from the market.

USABLE GIFTS:
Quite often we need to wear on our thinking caps when we have to buy gift articles for others. When wrong type of gifts is exchanged, they remain unused and eventually get wasted away. Instead of buying articles, which you admire, opt out to buy something that the receiver may like. Instead of selecting the colors and shades of your choice, choose those colors that may suit the receiver’s taste and also his or her complexion. You have an added advantage if you are well versed with likes and dislikes of your friends and relatives. While gifting an article to someone you also ought to bear in mind the person’s age and sometimes his position too. When one wishes to gift something to a newborn, soft toys are often the automatic choice. Small silver bowls or silver glasses too are often presented as a memorable gift. It is wise to avoid expensive clothes or footwear for the tiny babies as they outgrow the size in no time. One should also avoid presenting toys having sharp edges. Do not forget that almost all little children have the tendency of putting every object in their mouth. Therefore, toys having small keys or plastic screws should be strictly avoided as gifts. Presenting safe, colorful and musical gifts can be a joy for the little babies. For children studying in the primary school, building blocks, puzzles, mechanic sets etc. can be fruitful gifts, which exercise their brains as well as their creativity. This also being the right age for inculcating reading habits, general knowledge books for children like the ‘Do You Know?’ would be an ideal gift. A cricket bat, a badminton racket or a carom board could assist in instilling team-building spirit in children.

These days gifts and toys are suitably designed for children. Many a time, advice from the psychologists is sought by manufacturers to design the right kind of gift for the right age group.

Young college girls get thrilled at receiving fancy purses, bracelets, junk jewelry, cosmetics or even dress materials. Office going ladies too would welcome the gifts of purses or perfumes. Such articles can be used regularly and therefore they are certainly preferred to those that can be placed in a showcase. Young men are happy receiving wallets, tie-pins, perfumes, leather belts or watches. For elderly women and men sober colored gifts should be preferred to flashy ones. For this age group, fabrics with delicate soft design are appropriate than the bright bold prints. Small studs or decent ear tops form a better gift than the dangling, dazzling earrings for a woman above sixty. For the older folks above eighty, a soft lightweight shawl could reveal your warmth for them.

People who have moved in to new homes would happily welcome gifts like decorative table cloths, wall pieces, flower vases, dinner sets, crockery, colorful bedspreads, carpets etc. If you plan to gift someone something really very expensive, it would be wiser to consult the person or even better, to take him or her along for the purchase. By doing so, you may avoid the blunder of buying an object that he/ she may already have. One must be very careful while gifting idols of god. If a family has faith in the Feng-shui articles, only then consider presenting them those. Remember that gifts are given to impart pleasure and therefore should not become a burden for the receiver.

However affluent a person may be, and may possess all the materialistic possessions, yet receiving a small packet of gift thrills him. The sight of a gift wrapper pleases a person at every age. Gifts truly are a medium of conveying our feelings for people.

ON WINGS OF A DREAM!

I stood by the window one rainy day,
The dense clouds had layered every golden ray.
This led me to drift into a memory stream,
I found myself on wings of dream!

Small little children were hopping around,
On the street, on the pavement, on the huge wide ground!
Often they walked to the school close-by,
Dressed in uniforms and a smart orange tie!

Seasons rolled by and taller they grew,
Sharing their feelings- now just with a few.
Destiny announced aloud their time to part,
Each went with memories cuddled to his heart!

Years rolled by and busier they got,
Aiming at success- toiling a lot.
Though, far from the childhood pleasure and fun,
Yet stored the warmth for that special someone!


When memories of people are rooted so deep,
Someday in life they surface and peep.
They beckon you to those, you once thought dear,
The distance gets shrunk whether far or near!


Once more they open the childhood page,
You realize you had missed them at many a stage!
You were someone’s love or a childhood sweetheart,
Those embedded feelings still dwell in your heart.

I looked at the sky that had now turned bright,
Clearing off the clouds- bringing veiled things to light!
HE- who, has gifted us the night and the day,
Binds people closer in HIS own unique way!

Childhood love is a pretty scented flower,
That merrily blooms each minute- every hour.
It may wilt in the cold, and soak in the rain,
Yet someday Spring dances on the petals again!

MANNERS - THE NEED FOR EVERY AGE GROUP!

Manners: The Need for Every Age-Group

Excess doting of parents on their kids becomes quite a necessity especially when the parents are away from home for the major part of the day. This many a times habituate the kids to have things their way. Years later we find ourselves whole - heartedly and unanimously blaming the young as being selfish and self centered.

Can a stout bank-balance and high education make up for the lack of manners? Certainly not.


Engulfed by the dreams of a brilliant lifestyle for themselves and their offspring, the industrious parents race towards their work destinations. Blame it on the financial exigency - but the order of the times begs the attention of both the parents towards penny breeding. Entrusting the tiny toddlers at home in either the caretaker’s arms or on a grandparent’s lap, the duo sets off to work.

Soon Lady Luck smiles wide at these ambitious couples. Money jingles in their pockets, plush apartments house them, dazzling cars grace the façade of their homes. You name it, and they have it all - from a radio to an ipod. Amidst this,” My child should master the Queen’s language”, remains their utmost desire. But along with the royal language, what these virtuous beings fail to inculcate in their offshoots is the Queen’s etiquettes. Manners – the true ornament remains to be introduced in their children in their strive for gold and silver. They remain oblivious to the maxim - English language and manners go hand in hand.

Often we come across kids studying in distinguished institutions but are hardly affable. Few children bother to wish the visitors who enter their lavish dwellings.” They are just kids”, say the grown- ups disposing off the matter. But isn’t this the very age in which the seeds of manners need to be sown?

Excess doting of parents on their kids becomes quite a necessity especially when the parents are away from home for the major part of the day. This many a times habituate the kids to have things their way. Years later we find ourselves whole - heartedly and unanimously blaming the young as being selfish and self centered.

Smile – as they say – doesn’t cost much but often we witness the senior lot hardly spreading an iota of smile while greeting a guest. Then later when the chips of the old blocks follow suit, we blame their era! Umpteen times we come across blaring TV sets blemishing the serenity of the surroundings even in a visitor’s presence. They fail to realize the disrespect that they exhibit when they continue watching the never - ending soaps and serials instead of being all ears to their guests who may have arrived after a long journey. It is also the duty of a host to wait patiently till the guest reaches out of sight before the door is shut.

We come across grown-ups dashing out to work without even a good -bye note dropped at the older folks. Then later these same noble people spite their kids for not intimating them about some planned tour or a holiday. Quite often sweets get accepted by the hosts with, ”oh, we are on diet these days”, or “we prefer the other flavor more”, or even worse, ”our fridge is already full of these”, thus causing embarrassment to the guest who feels guilty of not being an expert in selection of the right delicacies.

Children are proudly enrolled in convent schools. But ‘good morning’ and ‘good evening’ greetings are neither practiced by the parents nor taught to their little wonders. Children learn to accept gifts but learning to acknowledging them with a ‘thank you’ isn’t taught to many. Elders should realize that manners help in creating and maintaining a bond between people. Complementing others on their success displays your appreciative nature and the pleasure that you take in others’ joys. Apologizing for any mistake done needs no age bar. Elders at home shouldn’t have any inhibitions in saying a sorry to their juniors. In fact, through this gesture they introduce manners to the young. Often people hesitate to pay condolence to a family in grief, as they are unaware of proper words and language to be used in such a situation. This can sadly be mistaken as being mannerless. In such a case, sending a condolence note can do the needful.

Placing courtesy calls to senior relatives and distantly located friends, at least once a fortnight, and following the telephonic manners remain alien to many people despite of having the Bells’s invention at home even before they were born. By their intelligence and industrious nature these people do achieve a high position in society but manners still remain foreign to them. The want of manners often leads to their unpopularity in their place of work. Merely aping the modern lifestyle cannot hide the significant defect of the deficiency of manners.

During the childhood, a little one is often sent to play in the neighbourhood homes. But strange enough that the child isn’t taught to cultivate a lasting bond with these neighbours who earlier must have loaded him with love and affection. “He doesn’t have time at all”, they lament about the class V student that would humble even a Ph. D. pursuer. Later when the parents meet with a twin treatment, they point at the existing times and its fading culture.

But were these children introduced to genteel behaviour in the past? Can any of the above actions exhibited by the elders fit into the frame of manners? Has generating the metal coins and teaching our generation next to only do the same, become the anthem of many a homes?

Is it right to blame the children entirely, when they often reflect what they see? Can a mirror be blamed if a face placed before it is disfigured?

Time fleets. With blinkers adorned - to compete in the rat race of materialistic achievements, in the competition to carve the best furniture for home, and in a struggle to place the most exquisite sculpture on the mantle piece, the real clay of the home - ‘the child’ remains unmoulded.

Woman- the magnificent masterpiece!!

To all my female friends around the globe - MARCH 8th is UR day! It should remind u once again that U r Beautiful but Daring, Delicate but Courageous, Shy but Brave, Naive but knowledgeable,Generous but Wise, Gregarious but Thoughtful, Sensitive but Confident, Stubborn but Forgiving, and Tough but Feminine!! U r the Epitome of love, eleganceand sacrifice!U r the pillar of strengthforthose in difficult times, andu remain undauntedin challengingcircumstances!U strike a wonderful balance between work and home! !! U r the sunshine of ur home, and the pride of ur family!! U r inimitable and hold a special place in this world! U r that wonder- who can play theversatile roles of being a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sisteror a friend with equalpoise and ease!!You are a WOMAN -the magnificent masterpiece sculptedby the Divine Architect of the Universe! Wish u a Very HappyWomen's Day!!

Let Love Last Long

Valentine's Day! 14th Feb- the dayof the true lovers or the two souls residing in one body!
Very few people are lucky to experience true love, which extends beyond beauty and body!
Connecting on an emotional level spells true love! A person with whom one can share and chat for hours; however far he may be is true love.
Sadly, one finds examples of temporary attractions, which fade when out of sight!

True love can sustain Geographycal distances, historical differences, cultural barriers and especially proves its mettle under trying situations! True love never gives excuses for the unkept promises, but strives to fulfill promises in all situations!
True love respects and cares for the sentiments of the other person, and makes each day A Valentine's Day for his Valentine!
A Happy Valentine's Day to all the loving hearts!! Title Blog Entry
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